My Most Meaningful & Important Race Yet...St. Jude Half Marathon!

St. Jude Half Marathon

Why this the most important race I've registered for yet? Here's OUR story... In June 2008, we buried my niece, Arnevia Triplett.  She was only 22 months old.  As painful and unexpected as it was it didn't compare to the pain I felt a couple years later.  In 2010, my same sister and brother-in-law buried my nephew.  He was only 374 days old! Both my niece and nephew had a rare disease, DiGeorge Syndrome.  At the time that my niece passed, we didn't know this.  Her cause of death was listed as unknown as the doctors could not figure out what the problem was.

A couple years later, my nephew, Devan Triplett was admitted to St. Jude after significant weight loss.  He was tested for everything and all his tests came back negative.  Again, the doctors couldn't pinpoint the issue.  Then a medical student suggested that he get tested for DiGeorge Syndrome since he had all the symptoms.  And what do you know, his illness actually had a name.  It was rare but at least we knew or somewhat knew what we were dealing with.  For 374 days, in and out of the hospital, scare after scare, we had the most precious little boy in our lives.  I thought he was my child.  I spoiled him.  Anytime he was sick, I was hopping on the next flight or driving home to be there.  I prayed constantly for a complete healing. 

Then the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I received the dreaded phone call! My sister simply said, "I need you at home.  My baby died in his sleep this morning." I can't begin to describe the pain, hurt, and I anger I felt.  I lost a piece of me that day.  It sounds cliché but I literally lost a piece of my soul, heart, and my peace of mind.  I was angry with everyone except my sister. I just couldn't fathom what she was feeling at that moment and I still can't.  But I was especially angry with God. I couldn't understand why we prayed so hard to have our prayers unanswered.  Or why an innocent little boy was brought into this this world to suffer and be taken away so soon! I just couldn't get past this one incident.  I know my Mom thought I was loosing my mind and most days I felt like I was as well.  I would call her screaming, crying, angry, upset, and grieving in the worst way possible.  I always stayed strong for my sister but I had some of my worst moments when driving.

I stopped going to church and all but stopped believing.  Then I decided to run outdoors.  It was a totally different experience from the treadmill.  My running didn't begin immediately.  Actually, it was a couple years later.  I needed an outlet.  I was so angry with God and I missed Devan more than I could put into words.  I would run and reflect on everything. I would think about the first moment I laid eyes on him, held him, spoiled him, and just loved on him! I started to grieve in a more "healthy" way! Slowly, I started leaving my anger on the pavement.  I started to feel lighter.  At that point, I knew running was saving me from myself.  So, I kept at it and more things were coming into perspective.  I started praying again and listening to God.  Running was slowly restoring my faith; because I definitely had let it go.  I made a vow to support St. Jude and their efforts as frequently as possible.  I'm forever grateful that my sister and brother-in-law made me the Aunt of the world's most precious little boy.  My Devan! I'm grateful that St. Jude gave us the most amazing 374 days to make memories that will last a lifetime!  I'm thankful and grateful that God knew better than me.  He gave Devan his complete healing.  I didn't understand that Devan had served his purpose in such a short time.

So, this is more than a race for me.  It's a reflection of how far I've come.  How I've learned to grieve in a more healthy way.  Sometimes, when I'm running I think about all the fun we had as a family during his hospital visits or the pain he must have endured for 374 days.  Then I say to myself he was just a baby and he fought for 374 day surely you can make it X time.  I can show him that his Aunt will continue to fight his fight.  Grateful isn't sufficient enough of a word to describe how I feel for those 374 days.  Although I don't say it, each run and race is possible because God saw fit to give us a strong, little boy who changed me in ways unknown to many in such a short time period.

So, this isn't just another race! It's for my memories of my Devan! TeTe Pooka loves and misses you & your sister! St. Jude thank you for 374 days.  Sister & brother-in-law thank you for an amazingly, strong nephew & niece! God thank you for knowing better than me!

My Apology

I am apologizing because they are the Trayvon Martins, Richard Shermans, and Jordan Davis of the world as well. Once again, Florida shows us just how much they value the lives of our Black children.  How a man is found guilty of  three counts of attempted murder and the jury can't decide if he's guilty of murder is beyond me... At any rate, I wanted to write about it.

For my brother, nephews, nieces, Godson, and unborn child(ren), I'm sorry your life is valued less than your Caucasian peers! I'm sorry that you can't walk to the store in a hoodie to get a soda and a bag of skittles and not be seen as a threat.  Let me apologize in advance if you happen to be in the wrong neighborhood but it's really the right neighborhood and get profiled as a "thug"! Let me apologize now if you happen to be passionate about something and express your feelings and you are called angry or an idiot! I'm sorry that it's not safe for you to ride with your friends and do teenage things like ride with your music loud and listen to that hip hop song. Let me apologize now if you happen to do things that some teenagers do. See my children you are held to a higher standard than your peers but then you're really not. It's like you are expected to behave a certain way and when you screw up your consequences will be far greater than others. While some will view you as less human and important, you should know that you have a slew of us who see you for what you really are worth! Priceless! Your life is important! You are important. Please don't let the media or anyone else depict things any differently! When I look at you I see greatness! All of you are our pride and joy! Just know that you may have to work a little harder, walk a more narrow line in life, make fewer mistakes and avoid the negative stereotypes that are frequently depicted by others. Your greatness can not and will not be defined by the mediocrity of our society! I apologize for those that blazed paths before you and even me only to see them being snatched away slowly! Let me be the first to apologize on behalf of this judgmental society who can't seem to view our differences as assets! Let me be the first to apologize for any ignorance that you may experience as a Black child in this world. Not everyone will view you as less than human or important but for the ones that do I apologize! You should know that you are a rare commodity and you are way more important than they are willing to admit! You are feared because you are strong, intelligent, resourceful, and one of a kind. People often fear what they do not know or can't relate to. They
can't relate to you because they don't know our struggles. They don't understand your values! Always let them only see the strong, intelligent side of you! Let them know that you know you can not and will not be defeated! Let them know you will not live in fear because they do so! Again, I apologize as a sister, aunt, Godmother, and future mother for the lack of value that some of society has placed on your life! Just know that you don't need the consensus of the masses to prevail and be great! You were born great! And we shall ensure that you stay on your path to greatness!

With love and prayers,

Alexandria (Sister, aunt, Godmother, & mother <-- one day maybe)

I'm Not Ready... Realizations!

These last few months I've felt like I was ready for a serious relationship or even marriage.  Obviously, things have to take place before either of the two happens.  I have to meet a worthy guy, we both enjoy each other's company, become friends, and go from there.  Honestly, I don't think I'm ready.  I don't have the patience to make a marriage work.  I assess my actions and nothing about them say I'm ready!  I'm too quick to say forget it when things don't fall into place like I thought they should.  I'm spiteful at times, which I find to be childish yet a bad habit to break.  I'm borderline spoil and like to have things my way.  But then who doesn't? Most of the time I do though. Compromising is something I definitely need to work on.  I know when I'm wrong but I know when I'm right too! LOL! I think I have the best solutions and I really don't like to compromise.  SMH! Submissive...I don't think I have a submissive bone in my body yet! I say yet because I'll get there when husband comes along.  Right now, I'm too independent for a lack of better term.  Example: When I was leaving for Europe I had all my bags downstairs in the lobby ready to take to my car.  The gentleman at the Concierge started to assist and I just kept right on rolling.  He's an older guy and he said, "Alexandria let a man be a man.  I'm trying to assist you and you are hardly letting me do so".  I didn't have much to say to that but, "oh, thank you".  Sometimes, I'm so focused on getting a task done that I don't play my role.  As a wife, this will not work.  It's crazy how I know all these things but I'm still not ready.  I've had great examples of marriage with longevity.  Parents (who are divorced now but it was still a great example of husband and wife for the most part), aunt & uncles, and grandparents! So, I know my faults but I didn't realize how seriously unready I am for a lifetime commitment.  I have so many things to work on and bad habits to break before I can even think about marriage.  Sighs! I didn't realize all of this until today.  While I've pointed out all my vices, I have good qualities that will be beneficial as a wife.  However, my vices will hinder my ability to be the best wife possible.  And anything less than my best is unacceptable, especially when it comes to my couple of forevers!

I understand when the right guy comes along some of this will become second nature but right now I'm just being honest with ME! I'm not READY! :) #baredmysoul #selfreflection #thetruth #imnotready

Balancing Life & Your Active, Healthy Lifestyle

When I decided to take on an active, healthy lifestyle I found it hard to balance everything I had going on in my life.  I still find it hard but there are adjustments I have made to make it a little easier.  First, I decided being active and healthy was a priority along with other things but I'm not willing to sacrifice too much if any in this area. 

Anyone who knows me knows I love to be busy.  I'm always working on various projects and ventures.  I work full-time, working with colleagues on starting a non-profit organization, online magazine, I AM HER Health & Fitness Series, writing and editing a novella series, and other small projects.  At first, I couldn't find a balance and my first response would be I'll workout/run another day.  Well, that wasn't very productive so I told myself I would make time.  What good will I be with all the ventures manifesting if I'm not healthy enough to enjoy them? NONE!

Here are a few of my tips: 1) Find a time that works for you.  For me, it's easier for me to run early morning before work.  2) Get you an accountability partner or have a group of individuals who have similar goals that can motivate and support you. 3) Proper planning and preparation.  I do what I call reset Sundays.  I plan my entire week and prepare.  I cook enough meals to last two or three days (breakfast, lunch, and dinner); layout and iron my work clothes for the week; clean and do laundry; and prioritize projects that need to be completed. 4) During the week, I decide what days I'm working on what and I work diligently until all tasks associated with that project are completed. 5) REST! I get plenty of rest.  Sometimes, it means going to bed early since I have early mornings.  I have a "Do Not Disturb" option on my phone.  This allows me to restrict calls during a certain time of the night.  I have mine set for 9 pm - 6 am.  This means I do not receive phone calls unless they are listed as a favorite, NO text messages or other notifications during these hours.  I have found this to be helpful whether I'm sleeping or working.  It limits my distractions. 7) Be Realistic.  I am realistic about what I can accomplish.  I would like to get everything done as quickly as possible but the reality of it is I'm only one person with so much time. 8) Sacrifice! I do a lot of this especially when I'm training. I really don't have a social life and I'm fine with it right now.  When I feel like I'm at my wits end I go out.

Besides working out actually gives you energy!  Just remember where there is no sacrifice, there is no real struggle, and where there is no real struggle there is no real REWARD!

Ladies if you need that additional support and motivation follow my I AM HER group on FB!  I will also begin documenting my Fit Journey in February so follow that on FB as well! It should be interesting while I strive to get healthier, stronger and faster!

Scandal & Being Mary Jane... The Side Chick Argument!

These are my confessions...Just when I thought I said all I could say...My chick on the side said she got one on the way...These are my confessions!

LOL! I thought it would be cool to start this blog post with something like that.  Mission accomplished.  Lately, there has been the constant question of whether or not Scandal & Being Mary Jane are promoting being the side chick.  First off, let me say I haven't watched Being Mary Jane.  Secondly, I am a Scandal fan so I will try to be as unbiased as possible.  Lastly, I would like to address a couple other issues that I have discussed with individuals involving Scandal period.

Are these two shows advocating for side chicks? Scandal is just living up to it's name.  A married man, the President of the United States, cheating on his wife with a woman who happens to be Black.  I wonder if this would even be a debate if Olivia Pope was white? Just my question...  This show is about scandalous activity and what better scandal is there than a cheating spouse?  When Shonda Rhimes, who I perceive to be a genius, created the show I don't think her intention was to advocate for side chicks.  Now, have side chicks become intrigued and even encouraged?  Perhaps they have.  Whose fault is that? I can't say it's Shonda's or Kerry's.  People should learn how to separate scripted television and the reality of their lives.

I was having a conversation with a guy while getting my car serviced and he said he didn't like Scandal because their was no depiction of Black Love! I'm an advocate for Black Love.  Being that I am an advocate, I'm happy Shonda has strayed away from Black Love on the show.  The last thing I need is yet another negative image of Black Love.  Every relationship on Scandal involves a um scandal.  I am pleased that the Black men on the show are the "good guys" or at least trying to be the good guys.  Daddy Pope and Harrison.  The other question I was asked, "How do I feel about Olivia screwing a white guy? Why couldn't the President be Black?" I only have two points to make on this.  1) There would be less viewers if it was a Black mistress and Black President.  It boils down to ratings.  2) I would have been disappointed if the President was Black.  We just recently made history with a Black President and I wouldn't just won't that type of image out there.

So, maybe Scandal and Being Mary Jane have encouraged side chicks to behave a certain way.  But then the best way to test this theory is to poll side chicks to see what actually influenced their behavior.

These are just my opinions...I couldn't go into too much details since I didn't want to bore all of you with my thoughts!

Dating... How much do you give or sacrifice?

I am trying this dating thing seriously in 2014...LOL! I have a slight dilemma though.  I'm not sure how much is too much to give or sacrifice.  Perhaps, what is too little.  Let's say you are feeling this person and both of you have crazy schedules his/her schedule is a tad bit crazier than yours.  However, the days he/she is free aren't good days for you.

I told myself that there are just some things I'm not willing to sacrifice and my running is one of them.  The times that I run makes it almost impossible to hang out or go out on dates the night before my run.  Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have to be up no later than 4:45 for my 5:15 run.  That's too early for me hang out the night before without being tired. Since, I am half marathon training again my Fridays are out as well being that Saturdays will be our long run days.

Running is my ME time and I'm just not willing to bend on that.  I'm just finding myself again after so long and I don't want to get lost.  So, what happens when two people are feeling each other but their schedules clash?  Am I being unrealistic about not sacrificing a little of my running time or better yet my sleep time to hang out?  I'm not sure what can become of this if two people schedules don't allow time for actual dating.

Any suggestions or comments?

2013 Running Recap...431 Miles Later!

2013 Running Recap

I laced up for my last run of 2013 today! For the year, I ran 431 miles! That's equivalent to me running from Atlanta, GA to Hughes, AR and still having an additional 11 miles to run! This has been an awesome year for running! If anyone would have told me that I would have run more than 400 miles this year, I would have questioned their sanity. If anyone would told me that I would run a half marathon, I would have called them a lie! It's so crazy how running consumed me in 2013. Looking back I didn't see it happening but I also can't imagine what 2013 would have been like without running. It saved me. I always say running saved me from myself. I had some very defining moments during my run. I soul searched, analyzed, prayed, planned, and most importantly I found more of myself. You should never underestimate those moments of clarity you get from running. There's a saying, "Want to change your body exercise. Want to change your life, run"! This is true! I've changed over the last year. I'm more confident & more open with my feelings and others. I'm sure running wasn't the only contributor to this but it has helped. In September 2012, I ran a 10k. The farthest distance I had ever run. I didn't run more than that until I started half marathon training. This year I had a chance to run in places outside of Georgia. I ran four miles in NYC, Central Park. It was a wonderful view. Despite the fact that I got lost which is why I ended up with four miles. Lol, my sense of direction is terrible. My thoughts were I'm a runner and I'm running in NYC! I felt accomplished. Yes, I felt accomplished. A small town country girl conquering the pavement in NYC. Then I enjoyed two international runs... Running in Paris was exciting yet creepy! I kept saying I'm running on streets that I can't pronounce the name of properly. I conquered three miles in Paris! Again the view was amazing but I had a hard time not looking over my shoulder. I kept saying I don't want to get taken. Lol! I managed not to get lost though! London! I loved it and they have more of a running community. I didn't stick out like a sore thumb. I ran through the Royal Parks. I conquered another four miles! Oh, this Southern chick was on a mission! Running helps me to function. Those hours of runner's high are amazing! All of that but nothing compares to the feeling of accomplishment I felt when I crossed the finish line of my first half marathon! Amazing is an understatement! Accomplished won't suffice! I've never participated in sports, cheerleading, etc. So, when I got into running my family was shocked. Of course, they didn't think I was serious until I kept going and going. My mom and brothers came to my half marathon race. Those were the best 13.1 miles of my life. I was able to reflect on so many things. Mainly how far I had come with running. I don't profess to be fast and it's not my goal to be the fastest. I do know I'm stronger than I thought I was. I know with proper training I can push my body to new limits and not regret it. Since my half marathon, I've tried to stay in half marathon shape. I run 3.3 miles Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Then I run 6-10 miles on Saturday or Sunday. Each 5k that I ran this year, I PR'd. So, my 2014 year is definitely looking better as I train harder and get stronger! I AM A RUNNER! My race, my pace! Chasing Pavement!