Dating in 2013 - Too much of this and not enough that!

Attempting to date in 2013 is not what I expected.  Not that I have much experience with dating period but this ish sucks royally.  Here are a few observations from my stint in the dating world of 2013 & from chatting with a few friends who are dating as well.  

There is too much BS to filter through.  I mean you have men (at least this what they refer to themselves as) out here trying to date but will have a family at home. *confused face*  I just don't get it.  If you are that unhappy, you should change the situation.  

People don't know what they want (friendship, dating, relationship, etc) so they can't realistically let you know what they want from you.  They will say one thing but their actions reveal something completely different.

People are no longer trying to get to know you.  They either want to only communicate via phone or they always trying to screw. (Almost unfiltered.  I wanted to say the other word but my Momma may read this post and I would hate to hear her mouth.) What happened to real dates? Granted I'm not the movie and dinner type of chick but we can compromise. I'm just not seeing that anymore.

They aren't consistent with their actions.  One minute you doing this and that and the next you are all against doing this and that.  When the person gets accustomed to the good this and that you change it up. 

I'm not sure I'm cut out for this dating thing.  Dating is suppose to be fun and exciting.  What happened to people being honest, consistent, and communicating. It's really that simple. The game playing is too complicated!

Race Day...Better Late than Never!

So, this post is hella late for several reasons.  It's race day and I could barely contain my excitement and nerves.  I think my nerves were getting the best of me.  The night before I tried to make sure I had plenty of carbs and lots of water. I didn't eat anything that had the potential to make me sick.  Early in the day, I had rice & peas, broccoli, and cabbage.  Later I had a veggie pizza which I think was a good choice as my last meal before the race.

Anyway, it's race morning and I have my sidekicks with me.  I absolutely love my brothers, even the little monster! They are so supportive in a different way. *rolls eyes* For breakfast, I had a banana, piece of toast with peanut butter, energy bar, naked green juice, and water.  Sounds like a lot but I wanted to make sure my body was fueled properly.  I go through all the rituals and we head out to the race route.  I meet up with BGR, talk, take pics, and line up at the start line.  All I kept saying over and over in my head is trust your training.  My iPod is ready to go... My song at the starting line is BIG KRIT, "You Got This Here".  And off we go...

My thoughts:

Mile 3: It's a nice day and I'm glad I switched out of that long sleeve shirt my momma wanted me to keep on.

Mile 6: We are almost half way there.  Hey, why is that guy on his way back already and we are just at mile six. Looks at my running buddy and we both shake our heads.

Mile 8: Dang, it doesn't seem like we've been running for eight miles.  I may actually be able to do this.

Mile 9 - 11: These damn hills are so ridiculous and too close to the end of the route.

Mile 12: Only one more mile and I can do this.  Let me pick it up a notch or two. Looks at my running buddy and she's like I'm not going to be able to do this.  Oh no, you're my motivation.  Come on...

Finish line: Oh my goodness I DID IT! Looks at time and gets sad.  It says 2:17 something... Damn it, I wanted to finish in 2:15 or less.

I find my folks and I'm about to pass out...literally.  I need those cookies, that water, gatorade, and whatever else is available.  Amazingly, I wasn't sweating too badly.  Then my brother tells me that my time should be under 2:15 since the announcer said to take about four or five minutes off your time. And indeed it is: 2:12:55. I'm happy all over again. My knee was hurting like hell and my hips.  My knee was worse though.

It was the most amazing feeling in the world.  I ran a half marathon...nonstop! Of course, I've already made plans for my next one and contemplating a full marathon in 2015. :) To think, I ran my first organized race (5k) in March of 2012 and here we are in October 2013 and I've run a half marathon! Proud, excited, and ready to do it again.

And I got my sticker for my car! 13.1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a half marathon runner.  Then after my race I all but died...I got sick with E.Coli & my usual change in weather crap and I'm just bouncing back! I haven't run in two weeks and my sanity is on the line.  Today, I'm officially off doctor restrictions and can resume physical activity.

Race Week...Four Days until Half Marathon

So, I have four days until my first half marathon! I am only four days away from my sticker for my car! Excited and anxious is an understatement.  Many if not all of you have seen the various blog posts or pictures from my training.  Well, it's time to see what this training has really done for me.  Today was the last run before the race on Sunday. Okay, here is my confession: I've been having nightmares.  I'm so hung up on my time and this knee issue that I'm having nightmares about it. The first couple of nights and yes I have had nightmares more than twice.  Anyway, the first couple of nights I had an asthma attack during the race and my time was all jacked up.  All the other nights the knee pain caused me to have a really bad time and I cried.  It was crazy.  Saturday night I woke up in a sweat from the nightmare.  It's bad but I hear it's natural to have anxiety.  I just don't want a bad time or what I consider a bad time.

Race day:  The forecast is calling for rain.  This makes me sad but if the race is going on I will be running. I wonder what I will wear for the race.  I plan to do a video (short) and post to my blog.  I'm sure my nerves will be all over the place.

Anyway, I'm already looking for my next half marathon! I'll train smarter this time around and be pain free.  Amazingly when I ran this morning I didn't have any knee pain just a little discomfort.  I'm going to ice some more and see how things turn out on Sunday.  Until then, I have to remember MY RACE, MY PACE!

~Signed One Anxious & Excited Runner

Does it ever get easy to deal with? DEATH!

We all have had to deal with death at some point in our lives.  My question is does it get easier to handle.  From a very young age, I've dealt with it.  I remember being 5 or 6 and hearing my mom cry so loudly.  Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a momma's girl! At the time, I didn't know what was going on or the magnitude of what was happening.  Shortly afterwards, I remember attending the funeral of my little sister.  She died at six months.  My first experience with death that I can remember.

Years later, I was dealing with it again.  My grandfather passed.  At 11 or so, I understood better what was happening.  While I understood, I didn't grasp it totally.  It was crazy.  I had just literally seen him the day before and he was in good spirits.  Well at least I thought he was.  It was just baffling.

After that death seemed to continue to occur. Great-aunt, uncles, friends, classmates, great-grandmothers.  All my life, I had all four of my great-grandmothers then they were leaving so quickly.  By this time, I thought I was numb to the pain that death caused.  I was more sadden by the amount of wisdom leaving the earth rather than the person. Sounds harsh but I had just accepted the fact that people must die.  So, I was numb. I took death like I took the lies most people tell (with a grain of salt).

Oh but I wasn't numb to it all.  In 2008, the pain was real. My niece passed and it was the worst feeling in the world. The pain wouldn't subside no matter how much I prayed about and tried to occupy myself with other stuff.  Her time in our lives was just too short. 22 months just was not enough time.  It was just long enough for us to be attached and to cause inexplicable pain with her loss.  2008 was one of the worst years of my life yet.  It was way too much going on that year.  Fast forward it two years and here we go again.  My nephew passed.  This was the most painful not that I loved him more than my niece but I was so attached to this little boy.  He was really like mine.  I didn't go into a store without picking up something for him.  I didn't go home without spoiling him for hours on end. Plus, I couldn't believe we were making funeral arrangements for yet another child. I didn't deal with either death. I stayed occupied.  Mentally trying to stay away from it.  We had him for 374 days.  Long enough for me to be attached and question everything I'd ever been told. My sister who had just lost her son was calling me daily asking if I was okay. I was suppose to be comforting her yet she was doing the comforting.

Nothing in the Bible could have prepared me for these moments.  My way of thinking changed.  I changed. Don't get me wrong I still believe and I still have faith but it's not the way I was taught.  Do I believe in God? Yes, I do.  I just don't trust all that man has written in the Bible.  The logic of it all doesn't make sense to me. But that's another blog topic altogether.  Religion vs Spirituality!

I just want to know if there will ever be a time in life that death becomes easier to deal with?  Will you ever be numb to the fact that someone you love and care about will no longer be in your presence physically. Probably not huh?  That would make us inhumane.

For Arnevia & Devan Triplett, it hasn't been easy and it won't ever be! Auntie misses you daily! Love and hugs my heavenly angels!